Snowscape
by sapphirexkat2
Summary: [Reality] SxD. Yaoi. Satoshi tries to understand his obssession for Daisuke. Chapter 3 up! 32605
1. Questions and Invitations

Title: Reality

Author: SapphirexKat2

Rating: PG-13 Overall: **R** (I promise this time!)

Pairing: SatoshixDaisuke .

Warnings: Slightly AU; Spoilers. Maybe a little OoC.

Disclaimer: I do not own DN Angel. pout

Summary: Satoshi wants to understand his obssession for Daisuke. He asks Daisuke out on a "date", which only seems to complicate things.

Status: Incomplete series.

Prologue: Questions and Invitations

Since Hiwatari Satoshi first saw Niwa Daisuke the innocent red head had endlessly been plaguing his thoughts. It wasn't a bad thing, but it wasn't necessarily healthy either. Satoshi found himself consumed with Daisuke that he rarely had time to think of anything else. He practically _lived_ Daisuke, and that was not normal at all.

What was so special about the red head that caused Satoshi to think about him so much any way? Sure, Niwa was the Phantom Thief (he knew that ever since), but that wasn't the _only_ reason why Satoshi paid so much attention to him. There was something else, but he just wasn't sure what, and he was determined to find out.

_000_

"Hi, Niwa-kun. Are you free tonight?"

A clueless Daisuke turned to Satoshi and suddenly grew flustered (as always). He was about to leave class and start on his cleaning duties when an arm unexpectedly shot out and took a hold of his elbow. He saw the Commander's serious expression and chuckled to hide his nervousness (which wasn't working, by the way). "Ah, ha, Hiwatari-kun," Daisuke said, putting a hand behind his head. "N-no, not really. I just have cleaning duties, and then—"

"Would you like to go out with me tonight?"

The shocked expression on Daisuke's face was priceless. It lasted for about ten seconds until a great blush took over. Stuttering followed next. "Y-you w-want to… d-date… me?"

Satoshi found the whole situation rather amusing; for he figured that Dark was probably teasing him. Daisuke looked so embarrassed about something. He idly wondered what the (perverted) Phantom Thief was saying to him. "It doesn't have to be a date, Niwa-kun," he said. "I want to spend some more time with you."

"O-oh." Satoshi's response didn't help matters since Daisuke grew even _more_ nervous about the whole thing. He couldn't seem to keep eye contact with Satoshi; for every time they locked gazes, he would blush a bright red and look away. Satoshi was patient, and he just waited for a response. A whole minute passed before Daisuke calmed down (just barely) enough to give a straight answer. "Anou… s-sure, Hiwatari-kun." He smiled. "Just name the place and time."

_000_

After school Satoshi's heart kept beating rapidly in his ribcage, and there was no way to get it to slow down. He actually expected more hesitation, but he was glad Daisuke eventually approved of it. The Commander wondered what made him change (Daisuke always eluded him when he could), but he decided that he didn't want to question a good thing.

Satoshi showered, got dressed, and made his way down to the restaurant by 6:55. He waited with bated breath for about ten more minutes before Daisuke finally arrived.

The red head came wearing a dark blue polo shirt with two red stripes on the left and black cargo pants. Satoshi's breath hitched slightly when he saw him. Daisuke caught sight of Satoshi and jogged over with a smile on his lips.

"I'm sorry. Were you waiting long?" he asked apologetically. "I couldn't figure out… what to wear." He blushed slightly at these words, and Satoshi shook his head.

"No, it's fine." He studied Daisuke's appearance. "You look nice."

The red head blushed brighter. "Th-Thanks. You too, by the way." Satoshi gave a small smile. He knew that Daisuke was only trying to be polite. What was so nice about his dark green button down and beige slacks?

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

Daisuke's eyes lit up. "I'm starving! Is this where we're eating at?" He looked up at the high-class restaurant and gasped. "_Tsuitachi_? Isn't it expensive?"

Satoshi shrugged. "Doesn't matter. It's my treat, anyway." He opened the door and waited for Daisuke to go in first. Blushing yet again, Daisuke nodded his thanks and proceeded inside.

The Commander approached the waiter by the front podium and announced his reservation for two at 7. The middle aged man scanned his list before nodding and leading the way with two leather bound menus. Daisuke followed behind Satoshi practically gawking at the other patrons. They consisted of older rich people and younger successful businessmen (possibly discussing business). He had never eaten there before (his family rarely went out), and he took this opportunity to take in the fancy surroundings. The main pathway was red carpet and the rest was black with white diamonds.

They came to a corner by the large front window and sat down at a table for two. After ordering two glasses of water and iced tea, they opened their menus and scanned through it.

"Have you eaten here before?" Daisuke asked, reading the names of the food and then the ingredients underneath. He had no idea of what to order!

"A couple of times with my father," Satoshi replied, pushing up the frames of his glasses. "Have you?"

"No," Daisuke replied, flushing slightly. "I don't know what to get."

"Would you like me to order for you?"

"Uh, sure."

When the waiter came back Satoshi ordered two different dishes, his favorite for Daisuke and something new for himself. The man then left, and they were alone once again. Satoshi sat back and watched with mild amusement as Daisuke swirled the straw in his iced tea cup.

The Niwa had some nervous habits, Satoshi noticed, like busy hands. Daisuke's slender hands toyed with the straw, cup, cloth napkin, and the utensils on the navy blue tablecloth. Satoshi closely watched each long finger as it moved across the surface of things, and he wondered how they would feel under his touch.

"Thank you for taking me here," said Daisuke after a while of silence. He smiled, and Satoshi's heart melted.

"It's my pleasure, Niwa-kun," the Commander replied. "Thank you for being here."

They began a conversation that eventually led to Satoshi's years in University when their orders finally arrived. The two teens ate as they continued talking about anything, as a new topic eventually arose from the existing one. Soon they were talking about the Police Force halfway into their meals.

"So you were immediately employed as a Commander?" Daisuke asked with mild shock (Satoshi was a genius, after all, so it wasn't a BIG surprise).

"My father mostly influenced the decision," was the reply. Daisuke noticed that Satoshi's voice had a dreaded tone whenever he spoke about Hiwatari-san. "He refused to give me a lower position."

"Ah." Daisuke sipped at his water. "Do you enjoy it?"

Satoshi glanced up at Daisuke before returning to his plate. "Occasionally."

Daisuke smiled as he stole a glimpse of Satoshi delicately chewing his food. He wondered what made the Commander's job "occasionally" enjoyable.

_ 000_

After several arguments on who should pay Satoshi finally won, paid the bill, and walked out of the restaurant with a slightly sulking Daisuke in tow, but the red head soon recovered as they started walking along the neighborhood streets.

"Thanks again for dinner," he said. "I liked it a lot."

Satoshi glanced at him. "I knew you would. Want to go there again?"

Daisuke smiled. "That'd be nice."

They went and got ice cream (Daisuke's treat since he refused to let Satoshi pay for anything more), and walked around for a while more, conversing yet again.

Satoshi set up this "date" to figure out why he was so interested in Daisuke, but he only complicated things. He found that he began to like the other teen even _more_. He liked Daisuke's smile, and his laughs, and sense of humor, and personality and… The list just went on and on! As they continued to walk the night wore on (quite quickly, in Satoshi's opinion), and it was nearly 9 in no time.

"Since we're here, let me walk you home," Satoshi offered. His condo was the other way, but he could make it by himself. Besides, he didn't want to separate from Daisuke just yet.

Daisuke looked concerned. "No, it's fine, Hiwatari-kun. You'll have to walk home again, and it's pretty far from here."

Satoshi shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

"Really, Hiwatari-kun," Daisuek insisted. "I don't want you walking alone at this time." Satoshi looked at him, and he blushed, but kept his serious gaze. "I'll just see you tomorrow."

Satoshi was touched by Daisuke's concern, and he gave him a small smile. "We do have another… date, don't we? Until tomorrow, then."

"Good night, Hiwatari-kun."

"Good night." Satoshi hesitated for a moment. He wanted to do something, but it wasn't that time just yet. He just waved at Daisuke and turned to leave.

_ 000_

It was nearly ten o'clock when Satoshi finally got home. He was blissfully tired, but energetic at the same time. He simply took a warm shower and lied down on his bed, thinking. It was too early to sleep (he usually slept at 1) so he just went over the plans for capturing Dark tomorrow night. Throughout their "date" neither of them spoke about a certain Thief nor art, and for that Satoshi was grateful. It would have been awkward anyway. How could he bring himself to capture Dark now? He knew that he had to, and that he should, but could he bring himself to do so.

Perhaps being so close with Daisuke wasn't such a good idea, but at the same time, Satoshi was glad that the night had happened, and he hoped that it would happen again sometime soon.

_ 000_

The next day was the first of good days. Eleven o'clock that night suddenly came around, and Satoshi was at the museum, waiting for the Phantom Thief who was scheduled to steal the _Guardian of the Isle_ painting. As usual (for some nights), the lights completely shut down five minutes before the time, and the policemen were running around in panic.

"Traps four, twenty-seven, and thirty-eight were activated," came a voice of a technician in the gloom.

"But that's impossible!" yelled Inspector Saehara. "They're on completely different floors and wings of the museum! Check everywhere and make sure of where he really is!"

Satoshi could only see what the moving flashlights and cascading moonbeams through windows permitted. The painting was already gone, he knew, and the fastest way out was on the floor directly above this one.

He ran to the escape route leading to the roof. When he got there, he found the guards knocked out, possibly by some sort of sleeping gas. Smirking despite the situation Satoshi arrived on the roof where a (rather sexy) thief dressed in black already awaited him.

"Ah, Commander. What a pleasant surprise," said Dark, albeit sarcastically. "I was waiting for you."

"I don't doubt it," Satoshi replied, dropping his defenses slightly. He had a nice pair of handcuffs at the waistband of his slacks. If he could only get Dark to relax, he might be able to chain him up.

Dark chuckled. "You're funny, Commander."

"I try."

"I don't doubt it." With a smug smile, Dark came closer to the blue haired teen. Satoshi just gazed at him, waiting for what the thief was planning on doing. "So, how was your night last night?"

"You were there. How do you think it went?"

"I know that I kept teasing Dai-chan about it. Do you want to know what I said that made him blush so many times?"

Satoshi fought his own blush as he thought about what those comments could be. "You're shameless," he said dismissively, obviously wanting to drop the subject. However, Dark still saw passed his uninterested façade.

"Of course I am, and you're curious. So, do you want help or don't you?"

Azure orbs narrowed. " How can you help me?"

Dark came within a foot's range of Satoshi. "Well, I can give you tips."

"Tips? On what?"

"How to get Dai-chan, of course."

Satoshi indeed was curious, but suspicious all the same. "And since when were you so supportive of our…" He paused. He didn't know what to call it. Dark apparently had an idea.

"Relationship?"

"...No! Our…" Satoshi grew flustered with just trying to figure out a name. "Friendship." He frowned to himself, a little disappointed with his answer; for it didn't suffice.

Dark laughed, and the Commander scowled. "I hardly call the looks you send to Dai-chan 'friendly'," he teased. "And you call _me_ shameless," he muttered.

"What?"

"Anyway, if you really want to take Daisuke, use the element of surprise."

Satoshi smirked. "Like this?" He quickly pushed Dark to the ground, cuffed both wrists and pinned them above his head. By the time Dark could register what had just happened, it was already too late. He grinned at the Commander above him.

"Hell, you can win me, _Hiwatari-kun_, but maybe also something like _this_." There was a bright flash of light, and what was previously violet was now crimson.

"N-Niwa-kun!" Satoshi gasped, sitting up and releasing Daisuke. The red head, just as confused, simply stared up at him.

"Hiwatari-kun."

An incredible wave of heat spread through Satoshi's body, and he realized that it was pure lust for the innocent bound teen beneath him. If he thought that his condition was bad before, it was worse now. What he wanted to do now was kneel over him again and --

"I… think you better leave." Satoshi inhaled sharply and stood. He averted his gaze as Daisuke sat up with a confused expression.

"You're letting me go?" Was that disappointment in his voice?

Satoshi didn't reply. His knees felt weak, and a light fever seemed to break out over his skin. It already became harder to breathe. If he glanced at Daisuke again, he might… "Do it," he commanded firmly around his shaky voice. His hand came up and clutched at his burning chest.

Daisuke realized that something was definitely wrong, and with a mental comment from Dark he looked at Satoshi worriedly before turning and calling to his Wings. Dark now stood in the moonlight before With swept him up to the sky. He gave Satoshi a sorrowful glance before he disappeared into the distance.

_ 000_

An awful pain ripped through Satoshi's body, as if he was being devoured from the inside. He knew what it was - _who_ it was – that was tearing through his soul: the curse of the Hikaris.

_ 'Hold nothing precious to your heart…'_ His mother's voice echoed in his mind.

Satoshi knew as a young child that he had to be distant to everyone. He could never treasure the love of a friend or of anything else.

"Daisuke…"

Wings of pure white ripped through his shirt; eyes of azure paled to gold, and light blue hair lengthened and flashed to blonde. Satoshi's frail frame transformed into a stronger stature; his body was no longer his own.

"It seems you have broken your promise, Satoshi-sama."

**To be Continued…**

How was it? Sorry, I had a lot of plot bunnies for DN Angel, but I just couldn't find an end to each potential story! So I decided on this; hope you liked it. Please review! All comments, questions, and suggestions are welcome.

Oh yeah, and _tsuitachi_ is the name originally given to the first day of each month (in Jap., of course). It means the "rising of the moon" or something...(please correct me if I'm wrong!)

SapphirexKat


	2. Conflicts and Resolutions

Title: Reality

Author: SapphirexKat2

Rating: PG-13 Overall: **R** (I promise this time!)

Pairing: SatoshixDaisuke .

Warnings: Slightly AU; Spoilers. Maybe a little OoC.

Disclaimer: I do not own DN Angel. pout

Summary: Satoshi wants to understand his obssession for Daisuke. Krad comes out and hurts Dark! Satoshi has to make a choice: Daisuke or himself.

Status: Incomplete series.

Chapter One: Conflicts and Resolutions

Satoshi didn't go to school the next day.

After he woke up (and after his 30 minute daze was over), he sat on his bed for another 20 minutes debating on whether or not he would call in sick for school. It was a pity to miss a day, but he'd rather be safe than sorry. Satoshi wasn't sure what would happen if he saw Daisuke again.

He also wasn't sure of how the red head felt towards him. Would Daisuke hate him now that he found out about his secret? They were sworn enemies, after all. Their bloodline called for it. Satoshi knew what he was risking from the beginning ever since he asked Daisuke out. He just didn't expect for it to happen so soon.

_ .-. Forget the Niwa.-._ came a low hiss from the back of Satoshi's mind. _.-. I'm the only one who truly cares for you, Satoshi-sama. .-._

Satoshi didn't want to believe it, but he knew better than that. It wouldn't do for him to live on false hopes; one night with Daisuke didn't mean anything. Satoshi was still as alone as the day his parents died. All he had was Krad.

_ .-. That's right, Satoshi-sama. The Niwa will only hurt you. .-._

Hurt. What was it like to hurt, Satoshi wondered with detachment. When in his life did he have time to bask in pain? He was too young to understand the death of his mom. Even when he saw her with his father, there was emptiness in her eyes. It was the same one growing within Satoshi's; he saw it everyday when he looked into the mirror, and he could feel it grow within his heart whenever he glanced at Daisuke.

_.-. I think the real legacy of the Hikaris is masochism, not just me. .-._ Krad mused with mild sarcasm. There was a tone in his whispery voice that even Satoshi couldn't place.

The blue haired teen didn't say anything; for he felt that it was true.

_000_

The rest of the day was very painful in itself, Satoshi later realized; he thought he would die of boredom and of Krad's (now tangible) presence. He also missed Daisuke greatly, and his close company. For the first time in his life, Satoshi felt as if he'd made a true friend. It was ironic, though, how that person was actually the one he had to stay the farthest away from.

_000_

Satoshi opened his eyes and heard the doorbell ring. He groggily sat up and cleared his head for several minutes (and three rings later) before getting up from his couch to meet his guest. He opened the door slightly and stuck his head out.

"Yes?" he asked, his voice sounding just as tired as his body felt.

"Hey, Hiwatari-kun."

Satoshi blinked several times as he came to full consciousness. The once slightly blurry figure sharpened to a smiling red head. Satoshi stood up straighter, his heart beating soundly in his chest. He suddenly felt stronger. "What are you doing here, Niwa-kun?" he asked, trying not to sound rude. His voice actually portrayed surprise.

Daisuke shrugged. "Ah, I just wanted to check up on you, is all," he replied kindly. He had his bag on and several papers in his hand, which he extended. "You won't believe how much English homework we have."

Satoshi took the papers. "Oh. Thank you." He looked at the worksheets and saw that they were on adjectives and adverbs. He knew the foreign language well, so it wouldn't be difficult. He looked up at Daisuke. "Is that all?"

The red head looked taken aback and then sheepish the next moment, as if he was a little embarrassed about something. He tried voicing his thoughts the best he could. "W-well, I-I was wondering if… Did you eat yet? If not...then I was hoping w-we could…"

Daisuke was trying, he really was, and Satoshi was touched by his sincerity. However, the tempting offer had to be declined. "I'm sorry, Niwa-kun, but I can't go anywhere with you."

The other teen's gaze was torn, yet concerned. "Are you really sick? Maybe you should go to the hospital."

Serious azure orbs locked onto searching crimson ones. "No doctor can cure what I have, Niwa-kun," Satoshi replied softly. A moment passed in silence. "I think you should go now," he said in finality. Daisuke didn't say anything.

Satoshi came to the conclusion that maybe if he didn't like Daisuke then he could be closer to him without… hurting him, but could he just cut off all relations with the red head with a snap of his fingers? He didn't think so, but he could start. It was better to detach himself from Daisuke than to love him and hurt him…

The smaller teen looked away. "R-right, yeah. I have to get home anyway," he agreed half-heartedly. He refused to meet Satoshi's gaze from then on. "Mom's probably worried about me."

There was an odd pain in Satoshi's chest when he saw Daisuke taking it so well. He felt disappointed, as if he wanted Daisuke to say that it was all right, and he could hang out for a while.

"Hope you get better soon, Hiwatari-kun." Daisuke looked up and smiled then, but it was very brief; Satoshi didn't get a chance to enjoy it. He turned and left. The Commander watched him until he disappeared down the stairs at the end of the hall.

Satoshi was an idiot, letting Daisuke go like that, but he couldn't keep him.

_ .-. You still need to catch Dark Mousy, and I will still destroy them. .-._ Krad hissed menacingly. Satoshi remained quiet as he went back inside.

_ 000_

_ 'I will steal the_ Moonlight_ tonight at 9 o'clock.' - Dark_

The next day was a Sunday. Satoshi had arrived at the museum and looked at the note taped onto the case of the target. Inside was a small glowing vial on top a pillow of velvet. It was made of obsidian with some intricate vines of gold embedded within its surface. No one knew what was inside, for they never opened it. Satoshi knew what it was; it was the light of the moon magically sealed inside. Even in the dark the vial continued to shine.

"Commander, everything is set," said an officer, saluting quickly. Satoshi glanced at him and nodded.

"Traps are set and secure?"

"Yes, sir."

"Surveillance crew?"

"On standby."

"Very well." Of course, Satoshi had checked all of these _himself_ earlier, but he supposed that the officers needed to do something. The man he spoke to was dismissed, and the teen looked back at the encased vial before turning away. He hoped his plan would work.

_000_

After about an hour, exactly five minutes before nine, there came a great commotion. Dark Mousy effortlessly leaped through the air as he made his way over to the _Moonlight_. He was about twenty yards away when he caught a glimpse of it and frowned.

"That's not it," he whispered in frustration.

_ :: Huh? What do you mean? ::_ Daisuke asked, confused. He looked through Dark's sight and saw the vial. His brows furrowed as well. _ ::You're right.::_ he agreed.

"Don't tell me that Commander hid it someplace else!" Dark cried, leaping onto the glass case and glancing around. "The blue prints of this museum showed about thirty vaults! How the hell am I gonna find it now?"

_ ::Very clever.::_ Daisuke mused, smiling softly. _ ::Last minute adjustment. I bet not even Inspector Saehara knew about it, or anyone else.::_

"Damn, Hiwatari," Dark grumbled, jumping off the case and walking around. "And I _was_ going to help him. Now, I'm just pissed."

"Is the Phantom Thief stumped?"

Dark whirled around a corner and saw a shadowy figure with a hint of blue on top. It moved, and a pale light issued forth from the darkness. The vial softly illuminated Satoshi's face.

Dark smirked, enjoying the new challenge. "Ah, hello, Commander," he said, crossing his arms. "I was wondering where my targets were."

_ :: Targets?::_ Daisuke echoed, confused.

"_Targets_?" Satoshi asked, curious. "You want to steal something else?"

The thief changed the subject. "Can you transform for me?" he requested politely. "I would like to see my old friend again."

_.-. I'm not his friend.-._ Krad ground out rather harshly. Satoshi couldn't read his emotions, but he knew that the demon wanted to come out. However, he didn't want to endanger Daisuke. If he gave in to Krad, then he wasn't sure what would happen. Krad felt his hesitation. _ .-. Let me go, Satoshi-sama. I'll get rid of him..-._

_ 'No. I can't let you.'_ Satoshi could already feel his body burning. _ 'You're going to hurt him!'_

_ .-. I must!.-._

Satoshi fisted his hands tightly as he felt that awful pain between his shoulder blades. He braced one forearm against the wall as he gasped for air. His hair hung over his face as his knees buckled. Light perspiration trailed down his temples. "Stay… in…" he said through gritted teeth.

"It'll be easier for you if you let him," came Dark's soft voice. Satoshi tilted his head up, glaring. The Niwa looked sympathetic. "You're only hurting yourself."

"Be quiet!" he gasped out roughly. "Just…don't say anything!"

"Hiwatari-kun…"

Satoshi saw Daisuke standing before him in Dark's place. He moved back in panic, nearly falling over. The pain increased. "Do you know what you're doing to me?" he cried. The vial dropped as his hand came up to his chest. "I'm burning…" The transformation was easier the other night because he was taken by surprise, and he didn't resist as much. "You're… making it worse."

Daisuke seemed surprised by that. "What makes your transform, Hiwatari-kun?" he whispered softly. He came out because Dark said that he could help ease Satoshi's pain. Determined, the red head came closer and touched Satoshi's shoulder. It was so hot!

At that moment there were twin flashes of light. When it cleared Dark had fallen to the floor, and Krad loomed over him with great white wings. The blonde smirked.

"Thanks for your help."

Dark stood up. "It wasn't for you. It was for the Commander," he retorted. A smile came upon his lips. "Besides, I got what I came here for." He held up the obsidian vial.

Krad growled. "Damn you." Quickly, he formed an energy ball and threw it at the thief. Dark saw it coming, and he moved out of the way. However, it managed to get his right arm. The force pushed him out the third story window. The glass shattered and fell like rain around him.

An awful pain shot through Krad's head right as he followed Dark and hovered over him. He could feel Satoshi's mixed emotions of hatred, agony, and resentment. _ .-. It's either you or him, Satoshi-sama!.-._ he yelled inwardly to his host. _ .-. Decide! .-._

Luckily, With had been nearby, and when he saw Dark crash through the museum he flew over and attached himself to Dark's back. The thief was able to right himself properly before he touched the ground. The falling shards of grazed his hands and face as he gripped his injured arm..

He looked up and saw Satoshi falling towards him. Almost instinctively, Dark flew up to meet him halfway. A gasp of pain left him as he caught the unconscious Commander with both hands. Gritting his teeth through the agony of his arm, he descended back onto the ground and laid Satoshi as gently as he could on the grass.

The blue haired teen shifted. "Ni… wa-kun," he whispered faintly, his brows slightly furrowed as if he was worried. There were smears of Dark's blood on his neck and shirt where the thief had caught him. Dark stepped back as he heard the commotions of the police.

_ 'We have to go, Dai-chan,'_ said Dark, slowly stepping away from the fallen Commander. _ 'I'm sure they'll find him.'_ He could feel Daisuke's reluctance, but he just took off into the night before the others came.

_ 000_

_ .-. What did you think you were doing? We could have gotten Dark once and for all!.-._

Satoshi watched as the blonde paced within the recesses of his mind. He honestly didn't know what happened either. He was just so consumed with fear and concern for Daisuke, and he knew that he couldn't allow harm to befall the innocent red head…

_ .-. Are you listening to me?.-._ Krad demanded, suddenly facing Satoshi. Emotionless azure eyes met enraged golden ones. _ .-. Why did you save him? Is it because you love that boy?.-._ Krad's words hit the mark, and the hunter knew it when Satoshi looked away. Krad suddenly felt moved with guilt for causing his Tamer such pain, and he came closer. His heart ached when Satoshi evaded him. _ .-. Why do you recoil from me?_.-. he asked softly. _.-. I only want to protect you.-._

_ 'You only want to protect yourself,'_ Satoshi hissed darkly, turning away from the angel. He knew what Krad was trying to do. He was trying to smother Satoshi's newfound interest in Daisuke with doubts, and it was working…

_ .-. I'm doing this for us, Satoshi-sama.-._ Krad carefully embraced Satoshi from behind. Warmth quickly spread through him when he was met with no resistance, and he tightened his hold on the Commander. _ .-. To me, you are everything. I won't hurt you. .-._

Satoshi remained silent.

_000_

The blue haired teen woke up in the district hospital the next morning. His head throbbed as he sat through his daze, making it worse (although he was still half-asleep, and he didn't really feel it). When he was fully awake, he winced at the bright sun streaming in through the windows and stood to close the blinds. A doctor came in and met him. After about ten minutes of check-ups Satoshi assured her that he was fine, and he signed out.

He quickly stopped at the restroom and saw Niwa Daisuke washing his hands. Their eyes met at the mirror, and time seemed to have stopped. Pushing his emotions aside, Satoshi just inclined his head and walked to a urinal at the end of the room with indifference. Blushing furiously, Daisuke turned the water up and just continued to wash his hands.

Satoshi finished and went to the sink at the end of the counter to wash up. He rinsed his face with cool water, rubbing at his eyes and temples to clear his senses. Wait a minute, why wasn't Daisuke leaving? …Why did he even care? He took several paper towels to wipe his face and looked up to find Daisuke staring at him through the mirror. The red head quickly turned away. That was when Satoshi noticed it.

A large expanse of gauze wrapped around Daisuke's biceps peeked out from under his gray t-shirt. Daisuke saw him staring at it, and he quickly retreated, preparing to leave.

"I'll, uh… see you later…" the red head stuttered, rushing to the door. Satoshi's hand shot out, however, immobilizing his left arm. Daisuke paused.

"Wait," Satoshi said. "Please," he added more softly. He walked around to face Daisuke and studied the wound Krad had caused the night before. The redness of the Niwa's blood was slightly visible through the white material. He felt Krad triumph in his mind, but he wanted to…

Tentatively, he let go of Daisuke and reached out to touch the bandage. He felt Daisuke flinch, almost hesitantly, but soon relaxed. Satoshi's fingers trailed down along the gauze, as if fascinated. He then slid his hand up Daisuke's sleeve, feeling the warmth of his body radiating inside.

"Hiwa—what --?" The red head was too flustered to speak. Instead, a lovely blush worked out over his face. He wanted to move away, but Satoshi's other hand came out to hold his shoulder, stilling him. Slowly, Satoshi met his gaze.

"Does it hurt?" he asked softly. He knew it did, but he just wanted to know what Daisuke would say. Would the Niwa reveal his weakness and pain, or hold it in?

"Ah, a little, yes," he replied.

"Is anything fractured or anything?"

"No, but it will definitely leave a scar."

Daisuke's beauty was marred. Satoshi felt a twisted satisfaction, yet guilty for ruining such perfection. His hand gently slid down the sleeve and free of the comfortable warmth. The cold air of the restroom immediately hit his skin, making him want to return to Daisuke's heat. He felt confused all of a sudden. "Why did you stay in here when I came in?" he asked. "Don't you hate me?"

Daisuke gave him a sad expression. "I could never hate you, Hiwatari-kun. It was Krad, not you."

Satoshi's grip on his shoulder tightened. "How do you know if I wanted it or not?" The red head flinched in pain.

"B-because…"

The restroom door suddenly swung open. "Dai-chan, are you in here?" Kosuke called out. Satoshi immediately let go of Daisuke as the red head scrambled away and pushed him into a stall. Satoshi hit the wall rather roughly as Daisuke rushed in and jumped on the toilet, shutting the door behind him. Since the space was rather limited, Satoshi was nearly flush against Daisuke. The red head squated on the seat before him, and as he shifted, it moved, nearly causing him to fall over. He braced his hands on either side of Satoshi's head to keep him in place, their faces only inches apart.

Moments ticked by with tension as Kosuke searched for his son. When the entrance/exit shut for the second time, Daisuke leaned away, blushing furiously. Satoshi gave him a look.

"What did you do that for?" he asked, confused. His heart was pounding!

Daisuke hopped down, not meeting his gaze as he stepped out of the stall. "Well, I-I technically can't be seen with you," he whispered in reply, almost regretfully. "I better go now. See you later, Hiwatari-kun."

Satoshi stood still this time as he watched Daisuke walked away, however, the powerful urge to hold him back was still there. He leaned against the wall and let his head fall back with a soft _thud_. His heart continued to beat rapidly in his chest, the rhythm echoing in the empty room.

_ 'What is this feeling inside of me?'_ he asked, placing a hand over his racing heart.

It was now certain that leaving Daisuke alone was close to impossible.

** To Be Continued...**

Hiya! I am SO SORRY for the long awaited update. I had exams. eek! Now they're over, so yeah. Happy X-mas Vacation!

SapphirexKat


	3. Losses and Defeat

Title: Snowscape

Author: SapphirexKat2

Rating: PG-13 Overall: **R** (I promise this time!)

Pairing: SatoshixDaisuke .

Warnings: Angst. Slightly AU; Spoilers. OoC on Krad's, maybe Satoshi's, Dai's and Dark's as well.

Disclaimer: I do not own DN Angel. pout

Summary: Satoshi wants to understand his obssession for Daisuke. Satoshi goes through a state of withdrawl. Daisuke's introspection. Dark has job and the Commander doesn't show up.

Status: Incomplete series.

_ "It's a Snowscape. ...The shadows in the purest snow are blue... Night or day. On a night when no one else is around the blue-tinted fields of snow are just there waiting forever, as though time is standing still. Slow and silent, the snow keeps falling."_ - Niwa Daisuke. Vol. 6 "The Second Hand of Time Pt. 1"

Chapter Two: Losses and Defeat

Satoshi finally came back to school after missing two days. He arrived early, as usual, turned in his late assignments, and sat down at his desk. Every time a classmate entered he would concentrate on his peripheral vision to see who it was. For every time that it wasn't Daisuke, his heart fell. Soon the class began to fill up and the redhead was still missing.

His hands gripped his novel. Why couldn't he just forget about him already? It was Daisuke's fault for making him feel this way. If the Niwa…at the hospital… Satoshi had never felt his heart race so much in his entire life. Even in the pursuit of Dark it never happened.

"Oh, I hope Niwa-kun's all right," Riku was saying to her friends. "He had a bad accident after school yesterday, and his arm was badly hurt." The rest of the class came onto her conversation, and soon they were talking about what could have happened. (Daisuke had no clue how popular he was with the class.) "I mean, he is clumsy," she added quietly to herself amongst the chatter. "But still…" Her brows furrowed in concern.

Satoshi noticed this and felt sorry for her. She seemed to like Daisuke so much. Even as Daisuke liked Risa he knew that Riku secretly admired him, even if she was in denial about it. As the days passed, the older Harada twin seemed to fall more and more in love with him. Satoshi vaguely wondered who suffered more between Riku and himself because of the irresistible red-head.

_000_

Daisuke had missed that day of school, Satoshi later found out with disappointment. The only reason why he even _considered_ waking up that morning was because _of_ Daisuke. It was foolish and hopeless, he knew, but he couldn't help it. Krad made note of it for the rest of the day.

_.-. Stop thinking about him, Satoshi-sama. It isn't doing you any good. .-._ The blonde said this firmly, as if demanding that Satoshi obey him. However, there was also an underlying tone of sympathy. Satoshi almost thought he imagined it, for the hunter was practically incapable of compassion.

_ 'And neither are you,'_ Satoshi retorted. _ 'Now leave me alone.'_

It didn't help that Krad kept pointing out how weak Satoshi's self-control was – letting Daisuke reign over his thoughts with just a couple of kind words and a smile. Satoshi had spent his whole life building barriers around his heart for this exact purpose – to drive people away. Eleven years of labor, and a simple boy tore most of it down in a year's time. _ .-. That is pathetic Satoshi-sama. .-._

Satoshi tried to ignore Krad's banter. The demon didn't understand. While Satoshi may appear to be ice cold and not desire any warmth at all, inside he was different. In the small, soft area in the core of his heart untainted by impassiveness was the _real_ Satoshi helplessly waiting for someone to reach him. No one had ever gotten through his defenses…but Daisuke.

Krad would never understand. He lost all feeling a long, long time ago.

_000_

The young Commander didn't want much out of life. He knew that he had a single goal, and that was to capture and get rid of Dark Mousy; it was the _Hikari goal_. Satoshi didn't like it one bit, but he supposed that it had to be done if he wanted to rid his family of their curse (Krad) once and for all. At first, as he trained, the blue-haired teen thought that it would be easy, but he didn't realize that he would catch a case of Niwa-complex along the way. It complicated things… a lot. Was it supposed to be that way? It seemed right…

As Satoshi walked out of the school building, he saw the Harada twins and Saehara heading the other way towards Daisuke's house. The trio had claimed dibs on taking the redhead's homework to him. Of course, three people weren't needed, but Risa and Saehara wanted to tag along with Riku, completely failing to notice her blatant implications that she wanted to go alone.

The Commander envied them, in a way. They were free to be with Daisuke however and whenever they wanted to - both fate and rationale prohibited Satoshi that privilege, but in exchange he had a special connection to Daisuke. Somehow he wondered if they've met each other in other lifetimes before, and if they'll meet again if their family rivalry continued long enough. If that was the case then Satoshi would just let Dark go with the art pieces.

_Something to look forward to,_ he thought privately to himself. Maybe then Daisuke could be more than his friend. It was pathetic for him to think that way, he knew, but it shed a comforting light on his gloomy soul.

_000_

_ .-. You didn't eat anything. .-._

Satoshi filed some paperwork away at the Police Station. Dark had a whole cabinet to himself, the contents of which having accumulated over the years. Satoshi actually read the older cases on the thief. They were nowhere near as elaborate as his notes. He placed a thick folder in the top drawer before pulling out another behind it. _ 'What?'_ he asked absently, not really paying any attention to Krad.

_ .-. Aren't you hungry? You're already malnourished as you are! .-._ Krad sounded royally pissed. Satoshi took an odd satisfaction at upsetting him so.

_ 'And your point is?'_ he replied indifferently, sitting at his desk and opening the Manila folder. He had other reports on Dark at home, but those were more personal. The ones he filed here were for the public, to let them know what he was up to. Satoshi often wrote less here, but it was still helpful. There were dates, precise times, traps used, and Dark's evasions. He, of course, left out the dialogue that happened between those times. At home… Satoshi made note of all of it.

_ .-. What do you mean, 'and your point is'? Go eat something! .-._

_ 'I'm not hungry.'_

_ 'Like hell you aren't! You only had a slice of bread for lunch and a box of juice. Are you a damned machine or something?'_

Satoshi couldn't concentrate with that loud voice echoing in his head. _ 'And are you my nutritionist? Shut up. I'm. Not. Hungry.'_ His stomach felt a little empty, but he was used to it. It's not like it really mattered anyway.

Krad was fuming. He feared for his host's system, if not only for Satoshi. No Satoshi equals no body to manifest in. No body before marrying and having a son equals no more descendants for the Hikaris. No more Hikaris equals the victory and flourish of Niwas. The demon couldn't stand the results of all these. _ .-. You **will** eat! .-._ he demanded. _ .-. Or I will force you. Don't think I can't. It's bad enough that you have low blood pressure already. .-._

_ 'Thanks for lecturing on my medical history,'_ Satoshi bit back sarcastically. _ 'Now do you want to leave me alone?'_

_ .-. Damn it, I **swear**, Satoshi… .-._

_ 'I'm just your host, Krad. What do you care?'_

The blonde wanted to respond – he really did, but he knew that no matter what he said, Satoshi wouldn't be convinced. He immediately regretted saying all those horrible things to him the night before and this morning. He might have made a little more impact than he intended. Satoshi was deprived of love, warmth, and happiness. What more was adding food to the list? The essential things that a person needed in life was what Satpshi was forced to do without.

_ 000_

It was about ten p.m. when Satoshi got home. He really had nothing else to do in his rather mundane routine that was his life. Krad had surprisingly been quiet since the station, and it was very much welcome in Satoshi's mind. He now had time to do a little more introspection to figure out what he wanted to do with the remainder of his time.

_ 000 000_

A month had passed since the incident at the _Moonlight_ heist (which was barely successful). Daisuke's arm had healed rather nicely (with no thefts between his recovery) and enjoyed the time he had off from stealing and running around on rooftops (although, there were still traps at home). He also had a great time explaining how he got hurt. His mom said to tell them that he fell while painting the roof and skid on the driveway. Secretly, he hated the idea. The light scar that would be left behind had a much bigger story than that, and it would be added to the collection of other Dark-Satoshi related injuries.

This scar, however, was the one that Daisuke was sure he'd refuse to forget. Much more damage could have been caused if Satoshi didn't awaken and stop Krad. It wasn't his friend's fault – it was the enemy's, and Daisuke spent that whole month questioning Satoshi's motives. Why did he save him? He knew that Satoshi had chosen him over himself. Daisuke caused him nothing but trouble and pain. Why go through the extra effort to make sure that he was okay?

_ : What about you, Dai-chan? Why do you share lunch with him and smile at him when he's out to get us:_

Daisuke stared up at his ceiling as he lay in bed. _ 'Because he needs someone… to be nice to him,'_ he replied carefully. Why did he want to be with Hiwatari-kun?

_ : So it's just pity:_

_ 'No! Not at all!'_ Daisuke replied quickly. _ 'I mean that Hiwatari-kun needs a friend, and I –'_

Dark smirked. _ :You what, Dai-chan:_

Daisuke didn't mean for the change of subject, but a thought just occurred to him. _ 'Hey, why did you change into me when Hiwatari-kun was transforming? You said it would help, but it only made it worse for him.'_ He remembered Satoshi's exact words. The blue haired teen actually told him that he was hurting. It pained Daisuke to see him struggling and losing to his inner demon.

_ : We've been over this before, Dai-chan. Hiwatari has the same condition as our family does:_ the thief replied not impatiently,_: except he doesn't get a dashing thief like you do.:_ He added with a wink. Daisuke sent Dark a glare.

_ 'I'm serious, Dark! You've told me that before, but you still didn't tell me what made Hiwatari-kun turn into Krad. Is it love - like us - or is it hatred?'_ Daisuke felt that he would be devastated if it was the latter. Maybe that was why Dark never answered him – he knew it would crush the young teen.

Daisuke would never know the reason anytime soon.

_ : I'll tell you someday later, Dai-chan, when things aren't so complicated for either you or Hiwatari, but all I can say is that you make him change into Krad.:_

_ 000_

During the time that went by, Daisuke noticed with concern that Satoshi was getting steadily thinner than he already was. The normally slender teen became nearly skeletal. His skin paled further, nearly reflecting the light off his skin. Daisuke didn't eat lunch with Satoshi on the roof anymore (much to his dismay), and he wasn't sure if the Commander was even eating at all (Satoshi didn't sit on the roof anymore). The thought scared him.

Although Daisuke was forbidden to see or talk to Satoshi the redhead did so occasionally. It was very discreet with short conversations and smile or two, but nothing more, for his mother had a knack for knowing what he did 24/7. Instead, the Harada twins took up most of his time, asking him to accompany them here and there, doing this and that. Daisuke barely had time for anything or anyone else.

Alas, Emiko-san figured that Daisuke was well enough for another job, and she was impatient to get him going. One afternoon after school, she excitedly told Daisuke that he would be stealing a pretty statue at a nearby museum, and the previously sent note made the time for nine p.m. Daisuke, although saddened that his vacation was over, was a little glad to be back. His life was free, but mildly boring, without the thrill of a chase.

Besides, he'd get to see Hiwatari-kun on a more exclusive basis once again. Hopefully their last encounter wouldn't be as bad as the last one, but maybe they'd get to find out a little more about each other. Daisuke's heart was practically skipping beats as the time neared.

_000_

Thick lines of officers guarded the museum, even more so than before. Dark easily evaded the spotlights, watchful eyes, and primary traps before making his way down the halls and floors to his target. So far, he hadn't run into anyone of importance, much to his disappointment. He didn't want to voice it to Daisuke, but he was upset. Where was Satoshi? Was it another grand plot to capture him? Dark let himself believe that thought for a while until he finally had the desired statue in hand (after avoiding much of the police force). Satoshi still didn't meet him, and again, when he had escaped the building fifteen minutes later (he was taking his time, hoping that the Commander, or even Krad, would pop out of the shadows). Nothing.

Daisuke noticed the lack of excitement in Dark's mind. _ 'No Hiwatari-kun?'_ he asked tentatively.

Dark flew home, prize in hand. He gazed at it for a while. "This is a Hikari work, right?"

_ 'Yeah. All of mom's targets are Hikari related.'_

"The Commander wasn't at school today?"

_ 'No. I haven't noticed him much, actually. I don't see him as often anymore.'_ Daisuke's voice fell guiltily. _ 'Nothing happened to him, right? I mean, what could go wrong?'_

Dark remained silent until he arrived home and gave Emiko her prize. She wailed joyfully and hugged him before storing the item in her secret vault. The thief then went upstairs and opened Daisuke's window.

_ 'Are we sneaking out?'_ Daisuke asked, a little unnerved.

Dark crawled out, as if in reply. "We're going to see that damned Commander," he muttered thoughtfully. "This is unacceptable."

_ 'What are you talking about? What's wrong, Dark?'_ The thief was really beginning to frighten the redhead.

The violet haired teen flew through the night sky, the wind biting cold, yet refreshing. He had a little confession to make to Daisuke. _ : I've been watching him when you haven't Dai-chan. Before the Haradas can pull you away, or while you're paying attention to sensei, I can still see Hiwatari. He looked horrible.:_

Daisuke panicked. _ 'What? Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't I know about it?'_

_ : Even when you spoke to him I could see it in his eyes.:_ Dark continued softly. _ :I bet that bastard Krad is torturing him somehow.:_ He was sure of it, but Satoshi's state of withdrawal could also be caused by one other factor.

_ 000_

Ten minutes later, the thief arrived at Satoshi's door. Instead of knocking or ringing the bell, he hacked into the keypad on the door lock and stepped right in, ignoring Daisuke's outraged comments about "breaking and entering". Dark's senses heightened as he sought out to find the Commander in the flat. The lights were on, its luminescence reflecting almost blindingly off white walls. He could already feel another's presence.

Slowly making his way down the hall from the living room, sounds of labored breath and the rustle of movement could be heard. Dark rushed into the room at the end of the hall where moonlight filtered in the otherwise dark place.

Krad stood shakily on both feet, leaning against a cluttered desk for support. He had a hand on his forehead as the other braced itself on the hard wood. Dark watched as the hunter struggled to stand and eventually give out. He rushed forward to catch the limp blonde.

"You're so damn light," Dark muttered almost angrily, weighing the figure in his arms. The dim lighting accented Krad's features. Shadows filled in the bony dents where skin and tissue were supposed to cover healthily. Krad's jaw, the column of his throat, cheekbones, collarbones, and ribs were evident through the large blue button down. Pale skin gleamed eerily in the moon's glow.

The thief could feel Daisuke's panic seeping in through their link. His host's anxiety was mixing with his, therefore causing it to increase dramatically. His heart hammered in his chest as he felt the fragile demon in his arms take in shallow breaths. _:I need you to calm down, Dai-chan. :_ he said inwardly, standing with Krad safely in his arms. The position felt so familiar, but not even Satoshi was that light when he caught him a month ago as he fell from the sky.

_ 'Dark, we have to help him! What happened to Hiwatari-kun?'_ Daisuke was frantic and heavy with guilt and horror. It was his fault, wasn't it? Daisuke had hurt him so much beyond repair. He didn't notice that Satoshi had been ignoring his nutritional needs, instead dismissing them as if they were nothing. Daisuke couldn't stand it. If Satoshi's body were to suddenly shut down -.

_ : You need to relax, Daisuke. Sorry.:_ Dark pushed the redhead further back into their consciousness before closing the bond shut. He couldn't concentrate with a frightened Daisuke, nor would he allow the young teen to witness the situation further. He placed Krad on the bed when the blonde finally started to come around.

Confused and weary golden orbs peaked open to see a faintly illuminated Dark Mousy. Krad wanted to flinch away, to push himself out of Dark's hold, but he couldn't even raise his arms. An odd sense of relief spread through him at the unwelcome, but familiar face. "What…?"

"Shh," Dark hushed, assessing him quickly. He saw ribs raise and fall steadily, then a sudden drop off to the torso. Dark noticed the protruding hipbones jutting out sharply over the waistband of black boxers, the smooth skin revealing the creamy bone beneath. "What the hell have you done?" he asked, actually _scared_ for his enemy.

Krad gave a resigned sigh. "It's that damned host of mine," he cursed softly. "Won't do anything I tell him."

"Where is Hiwatari?"

"Inside. He made me take over. Said he didn't care what I did… It's not like I can… _do_ anything in this condition anyway." Krad felt terribly sleepy. He had wanted to get up and try feeding himself, but his body refused too much food, throwing it back out the way it came in. Krad could still feel his esophagus burning with the latest incident just a couple of hours ago.

"We have to take you to the hospital," Dark said at last, meeting dim golden eyes. They seemed empty without the malice bleeding through their depths. He oddly missed the expression; at least Krad was alive with it. "Tell Hiwatari to come out."

Of course, Krad would be damned to take orders from anyone, especially Dark, but this situation was beyond his pride. Satoshi was dying – both inside and out. If he was physically healed first, maybe the inside could be worked on next. Krad wanted to cry for this sad fate, but he couldn't. Instead, he forced an unconscious Satoshi to the physical world, concentrating on the angel beside him. Dark watched the transformation painfully. Satoshi looked worse than Krad, and that was saying a lot.

Dark gently scooped up the feather-light figure, opened the large window, and flew off into the night, hoping that the Commander could find the help that he desperately needed.

_000_

It was nearly one o'clock a.m. when Dark could relax in Satoshi's hospital room. He sat on the doctor's stool, gazing at the blue haired teen with a sad expression on his face. Satoshi had various wires hooked up to him, including an IV tube and a heart monitor. He looked so fragile, as if he'd break if Dark touched him.

The lights were off. Moonlight streamed in through the windows of the fifth floor, bathing the unconscious figure in an ethereal light. Dark took this quiet time to reflect on the line of the Hikaris. While their works were invaluable and incredibly beautiful, the artifacts only reflected a fraction of the maker from whom they were created. The delicate hands that painted, sculpted and shaped each individual art were divine in the sense that they crafted something so timeless – so utterly stunning that they captured the hearts of all who looked upon them.

The Niwas only wanted preserve the Hikari art. In a sense, it was their duty. Dark's descendants have worked to keep the Hikari works through the ages. Why? …Which of the many answers should made itself be known first?

Dark sighed and brought a hand up to brush a lock of Satoshi's hair away from his face. _ 'Such sad eyes'_, he thought, reflecting on the blue orbs that lied underneath closed lids. Hikaris often died tragic deaths – an artist's death. It was too early for Satoshi. He had yet to create his masterpiece.

"Where is my son? Is he all right?" Dark could make out Hiwatari-san's voice from the hall along with a doctor trying to calm him down. Thinking it was the time to leave, Dark let his gaze linger on the Commander's prone figure before disappearing out the window.

_000_

Daisuke lied cuddled in his bed, feeling too terrible to sleep just yet. He didn't know! He didn't know what Satoshi was going through, and he wanted to help him with all his heart, but his presence would only make things worse. The saddened little redhead didn't know what else to do.

_ : Get some sleep, Dai-chan:_ Dark tried to comfort him. _ : We'll see him tomorrow.:_

Tears of compassion fell from Daisuke's eyes, sniffling as With came up and nuzzled his cheeks dry with its fur. He smiled gratefully and held the rabbit-thing close to him. _ 'But what would make him do that, Dark?'_ he asked, confused and horrified. _ 'Why…?'_

When Dark didn't reply anytime soon, Daisuke's spent emotions finally made him sleepy, and he fell into a dreamless slumber. Dark found none that night.

To be continued...

Hi all! Sorry for the long update. I actually finished this chapter a lot sooner, but I wanted to revise it some more. I hope I did well. The opening quote is from Volume Six on DN Angel when Daisuke is explaining his artwork to Riku. It completely reminded me of Satoshi, and it inspired me to change the plot and title. GOMEN!

Sorry if this chapter was a little... okay... A LOT angsty. Thank you for all of your reviews. I really appreciate them.

SapphirexKat2


	4. More Recovery and Confusion

Title: Snowscape

Author: SapphirexKat2

Rating: PG-13 Overall: **R** (I promise this time!)

Pairing: SatoshixDaisuke .

Warnings: Angst. Slightly AU; Spoilers. OoC on Krad's, maybe Satoshi's, Dai's and Dark's as well.

Disclaimer: I do not own DN Angel. pout

Summary: Satoshi wants to understand his obssession for Daisuke. Satoshi is at the hospital, trying to recover. He receives visits from Krad, Dark, and Daisuke.

Status: Incomplete series.

Chapter Three: More Recovery and Confusion

Satoshi felt so very tired, as if on the very last thread of life. He just wanted to sleep. Today wouldn't matter, nor would tomorrow, so who cared? He'd simply rest in this empty peace that he had sought after his whole life.

It didn't matter how much time had passed, or what the world was doing without him. Satoshi was ignorant in this endless landscape (and grateful for it!), sitting on a slope. What was this place anyway? Where did this image come from? The sky, Satoshi supposed it was, was gray. The ground was white with pure blue shadows. Where the light that caused was, he had no idea. It looked like a calm winter's day…

"How fitting," Satoshi mused bitterly, feeling the cool softness of the substance he sat on. It crunched like snow between his fingers, but it lacked all its iciness. He blinked, confused. "It isn't cold."

This scenery couldn't be from his mind. He'd imagine the blizzard in winters: harsh winds, biting ice, merciless temperatures below zero. "Perhaps this is the calm before it." He muttered thoughtfully.

"Or not."

Satoshi felt Krad standing beside him, white wings outstretched, blending in with the whiteness of the snow. The teen felt one wing shield his back, as if attempting to embrace him. Satoshi leaned back in acceptance. "What do you mean?" he asked, slightly confused.

"I put us here. It isn't a place with time or changing conditions. There will be no storms." His voice was thoughtful and pleasant. Satoshi found comfort in it.

"You created this place?" Was Krad even capable of such tranquility? Satoshi almost felt stupid asking his question. How else could he have come here?

Krad sat down beside him, his wing holding Satoshi more now that they were closer. Satoshi barely knew where his white clothing began and where Krad's wings ended. "Yes, but the idea isn't mine."

Satoshi looked back out to the vast landscape. "I thought as much," he replied. Krad shifted. "No offense."

"This isn't a Hikari's work, anyway."

The Commander arched a brow. "Then who's is it?" he asked, confused. Whoever created it had such a beautiful, but sad, inspiration.

Krad's eyes narrowed. "A Niwa." He sounded disapproving, which wasn't unexpected.

What Satoshi was confused with was why Krad would put them here. He didn't unwelcome it – quite the opposite, actually, but Krad would never go out of his way to make Satoshi so happy, nor would he accept anything from anyone else, especially from Niwa. "Then why is it here?" he asked, now gazing at Krad and searching his face.

"It isn't like I _wanted_ you here," Krad replied defensively. "As if I'd let Niwa influence you."

Krad only managed to confuse Satoshi further."How did you come upon this image, then?"

"I told you. It came from that Niwa boy."

Satoshi's heart was caught between skipping a beat and pausing all together. "Did you?"

"No, I didn't harm him. It's not like you left me much to work with." Krad suddenly stopped his bitter speech, as if organizing his thoughts or… controlling his anger. Satoshi could feel the growing tension between them. He knew what the demon was going to lecture on his next. "You're such an idiot, you know that? You're a goddamn psycho."

Satoshi couldn't help but feel wretched. Usually, he didn't care what Krad thought. He was a psycho himself, a homicidal one at that! Who was he to talk? But Satoshi knew that both of them expected better of himself. He decided to wait until Krad was done venting before he would try to explain his motives (if he didn't already know them.). The wing around his shoulder tightened its hold.

"What the hell were you thinking? How dare you through your life away so easily!" Krad's fingers were digging into the snow where they lay beside him. His golden eyes were focused ahead, but Satoshi could still see from the side how they burned with disappointment and fury. If he weren't so fragile already, he guessed that Krad would have beaten him by now. The demon's next sentence was barely a whisper. "You scared me so damn much."

Satoshi glanced away to his lap, feeling even worse. If Krad had said what he just did on any other occasion Satoshi would just think that the demon was worried about having a "host", but he could sense that Krad was concerned about more than just having a body. He was worried about a part of him - his soul …

"I'm sorry," Satoshi whispered to both Krad and himself. Now that he thought about it, it was foolish of him. How could his depression have gotten such a strong hold over him that he'd put his health in jeopardy? He probably couldn't see it, now that the worst had arrived, but Satoshi knew that his reasons sounded legitimate when he first started wasting away.

Before either of them could say more, he felt his eyelids falling. He was still exhausted, and he just used up most of his energy conversing with Krad. The demon seemed to sense this because he wrapped his arm around Satoshi with more tenderness than they fathomed possible.

"Rest now, Satoshi-sama," Krad soothed, brushing blue hair through his fingers. "You will feel better when you wake up."

_000_

Faint voices argued in the background as the formerly unconscious teen began to wake up. He kept his lids closed, however, since he didn't feel like opening them just yet. Instead, he tried to ignore the empty pains in his body and hone in on the conversation happening around him.

"Are you saying that I was neglecting him?" Satoshi recognized that voice to be his foster father's. He wasn't sure for a moment because of the distress implied in its tones. He had never heard Hiwatari-san to be so worried. How long has it been since he'd been out?

"It's just strange for him to live by himself," explained a female, possibly Satoshi's doctor. "Especially at his age. He needs parental support. He may be a Police Commander –"

"Satoshi is very intelligent, Hana-san. I doubt that he ever needed me as a father. Something else has gotten to him. Perhaps it's the case on Dark Mousy. I have been pressuring him. Maybe a break would be good…"

An agony unrelated to Satoshi's lack of physical health tore through his chest. The last thing he needed was to be ripped away from Niwa through the only special connection that they had. If only he could voice this… He didn't care who knew. He _needed_ that Phantom Thief Case. His ancestry explained enough of that already.

A soft sigh. "It's really late, Hiwatari-san, and our arguing is getting us no where. I understand that you are also weary. Go home. You've been here for days."

There was the quiet shuffle of feet, a cool touch to his forehead, and the closing of the door. Satoshi shifted slightly in his half-consciousness. It would still be a little while before he could actually function properly. At least he was slightly aware of himself.

_ 'Krad?'_ he called out tentatively, opening his eyes. He saw the large open window to his left. The blinds were drawn back, and the light of the full moon streamed in. Satoshi couldn't tell if there were stars out. He looked around the room again.

_ .-. I'm here. .-._ came the quiet reply. It was enough.

A silent shadow suddenly blocked the light of the moon, forming a bizarre figure on Satoshi's blanket. He looked to the window and saw a dark figure with large wings deftly working the lock on the glass panes. The blue haired teen immediately felt the skipping in his chest when it was suddenly undone, and the wings disappeared into a white creature. Dark caught Satoshi's gaze and winked with a smirk. He silently opened the window and slyly crawled through the small gap, locking it just as well once he was inside.

"There's a door, you know," Satoshi managed to say through his dry throat. He sounded sarcastic like he always did around Dark, but he wasn't fooling anyone. His pride refused to let him admit his weakness. He just wanted to appear strong in front of the Thief.

"What's the fun in that?" Dark asked, turning and gazing at Satoshi kindly. "Besides, no one's allowed in at this time."

Satoshi felt so awkward looking up at Dark from his position. He wanted to sit up. He looked too vulnerable lying down. "I'm sure you can charm your way in," he said wryly, moving to sit up. His muscles felt slightly strained, but he dismissed the feeling.

Dark must have noticed the shaking arms pushing the blue haired teen up because he was right beside him in the next moment, supporting his back. Satoshi wanted to both flinch away and lean into the touch, to snap at him and thank him all the same. Instead, he let himself be helped silently, conflicting emotions blending into resigned appreciation.

"Easy there… Doesn't this thing have controls or anything?"

Satoshi felt Dark's warm breath ghost over his neck as the violet head bent to search for the said buttons to adjust the bed. He shivered and closed his eyes, trying to keep his control in check.

"Ah. Found it." Dark leaned back and held the remote in his hands, squinting through the dimness of the room enough to read the symbols. He tentatively pressed a button and the top half of the bed inched upwards. His hands released the device once he was done and set aside. Satoshi was now comfortably leaning back at a fifty-degree angle.

"Thanks."

Dark grinned. "No problem, Commander, sir." His voice was mocking, but the sense of sincerity was there. He reached over to the end of Satoshi's bed and grabbed the cushioned stool, dragging it to his spot beside the bedridden teen. "I see you're awake now."

"Yeah," was all Satoshi could say. Did Dark know what that implied? Feeling very awkward, Satoshi was the first to look away, instead gazing at the IV bag above him to his right. Each drop of life sustaining fluid fell into the tube leading to his arm. Satoshi had the urge to rip it out. Why was Dark in the same room as he was, not taunting him, but… _supporting_ him? Hadn't he suffered enough? Somehow, Dark's condescending remarks stung less than his offer of pity.

"Why are you here, Kaitou?" Satoshi voiced out softly but firmly, his tone hinting that he required an answer. He was vaguely aware of the fact that Niwa had been there through various times of his life: when he was angry, disappointed, determined, content, strong, weak, in agony… nearly broken, but not dead yet. He was more than a dark angel, but a shadow to the Hikari light. Satoshi knew that no matter what happened, Dark could never be gotten rid of, for the light couldn't engulf its shadow. He was sure that his family knew that, though, perhaps by around his age hundreds of years ago. Why they didn't pass down the knowledge, he could only guess.

"Why not?" came the casual reply. Satoshi wished he could see Dark's expression, but he didn't want to turn around, for he'd reveal his own expression. At this vulnerable moment, he knew that the thief would be able to read into every detail of his face.

The Commander felt like retorting to his company, telling him that he couldn't answer a question with a question, but he thought better of it. If Dark didn't want to give him a straight answer, than when it came for his turn to be questioned, he'd do the same thing.

_ .-. You're being childish.-._ Krad said blatantly, as if the statement was accompanied with a roll of his eyes.

"Why so?" Satoshi turned to him then, if only to flash a weak smirk in the thief's direction. Dark just obliged him with a smile.

"Don't be so negative on things, Hiwatari. Life is too short for that." _ You should know._ That implication hung thickly in the air. Satoshi _did_ know that already, but he couldn't help it. Whenever something good came along in his life, he had to question it. Why did it come to him? What was the price? He already knew what he'd have to give up in exchange for Niwa's presence.

Satoshi scoffed as he came back to himself. "Thanks for the little insight," he said sardonically.

Dark scowled. "I mean it." The thief was never a person you'd think would get angry at all, if not frustrated or disappointed. Satoshi was slightly taken aback. "You've had your games before, but this is different. You're dealing with reality, and you'll get no second chances."

"What are you talking about?" For some odd reason Dark seemed to make no sense. What wasn't a game? When were there no gambles or risks? Life was a game with various stages to Satoshi, and he'd never choose a stage to lose.

Dark gave him a bitter smile. "Think of a Hikari to be completely clueless, especially about this." He was suddenly ticked off because he stood abruptly, preparing to leave. He turned his back and began working to open the window he had entered from. "Get better soon and come to me when you aren't such a crazy bastard."

Stung, the blue haired teen barely had enough time to retort before the black figure was gone out gap, leaving the panes open on purpose. Satoshi shivered as the draft came in and ghosted over his sensitive skin. Why did Dark's words hurt so much?

_ .-. It is because they're true.-._ came a solemn reply. Krad was never known for being mellow, either. He was the one overreacting, casting insults or death threats. It was almost as if the light and darkness had switched roles for the moment.

_000_

Satoshi woke up the next day, slowly coming to himself (he had righted the bed that night to lie back at 180). He lied there for a while until his doctor came in. They spoke heavily, mostly about Satoshi's failing nutrition. She knew that his body was naturally vulnerable because he was anemic, but when she asked about any emotional or psychological influences, he just dismissed them, saying that he was often times apathetic. Nothing could affect him really, except one, but he didn't tell her that.

"Apathy isn't necessarily a good thing, either," Hana-san replied softly, almost sadly. "You'll begin to neglect your own feelings as well. You won't even know what the basic human emotions are anymore."

If only people understood Satoshi's spiritual and genetic makeup. He didn't have the luxury of emotions – that's just who he was! Sure, he sometimes chose to push things away, but it was because he was inclined to do it in fear of releasing the demon within, and then he'd forever be a slave to his emotions until he died, or until it could be returned.

"I will always know what fear is," he replied passively, his blank azure eyes staring into surprised, almost horrified brown ones.

_000_

Satoshi had a recovery plan and a fixed diet for each meal. For several more days he stayed in the hospital, doing work, sleeping, or just staring out the window. The latter particularly happened at night, as if he was waiting for something that he knew wouldn't come, but he looked for it just the same. He only noticed the 'Get Well' cards on the table by his side, most of them from girls and even the Police Force. Just to humor Krad (who kept bugging him to either read them or throw them away) and not be rude, he opened each letter to scan over.

Hiwatari-san came in whenever he could, of course, but not as often as he did before(which Satoshi thanked every god for). There were awkward attempts at 'bonding' from the senior's part, but Satoshi remained unyielding mostly for his part. It was only after several failures that Hiwatari decided to bring up work (since it seemed like Satoshi's favorite subject).

"Dark hasn't been stealing for the past two weeks," the older man said, slightly disappointed. "Some speculate that he's doing it to throw us off, or he's simply not interested anymore, which is simply impossible. What do you think?" he asked after Satoshi's long lapse into silence.

The teen was currently glancing over that day's paper, reading over the currents events so that he could stay updated. He's been feeling better as he slowly felt the strength returning to his limbs. Maybe all the attention he was receiving expedited his recovery, or maybe it was the food, or maybe it was that one who had complete power over his entire being. Perhaps Satoshi was only cooperating so that he could take up that invitation.

"I think…he's waiting," he replied simply. "He can't steal a Hikari artwork without a Hikari guarding it."

Hiwatari-san looked thoughtful for a second. "Is that so?"

Satoshi only nodded slightly. It was mostly true, for he didn't think that Dark would want to steal something so easily. He wasn't like that. It couldn't possibly be that Dark lost interest all together.

_000_

What would Satoshi be doing on a regular Saturday evening? Depending on whether or not he had to deal with the Phaton Thief, he'd either be at the police station, at a museum, or at home. Satoshi felt absolutely helpless as he sat on his bed and read _1984_ by George Orwell (this was his fourth time). Even thought the classic novel was interesting, his thoughts couldn't help but wander outside the plot of the book. Reading was an attempt to distract himself, but it wasn't working very well.

A soft knock came to his door. Satoshi didn't look up, assuming that it might be his father.

"Can I come in?"

Satoshi felt his heart stutter for a second before he glanced up. "Niwa. Of course," he replied more casually than he felt. Daisuke flashed him a small smile before shuffling in .

"How are you?" The redhead found the stool on Satoshi's right and pulled it closer before sitting down. Satoshi briefly remembered Dark sitting just the way he did a couple of nights ago.

"Better." He saw Daisuke flush a little, probably from catching his meaning. Didn't Daisuke know not to ask that question if he wasn't prepared for the truth? The redhead always made him feel better no matter what, but Satoshi often wondered how Daisuke took it. Satoshi had expressed a similar statement before, and all he received was nervous, uncomfortable laughter. He didn't receive that now.

"That's good." The smaller teen bit his lip, as if he was at an indecision with himself. He remained silent for a while, probably thinking better of himself. Satoshi wondered what was on his mind.

"I'll be able to leave tomorrow," he said, closing his book and setting it aside. "Doctors said that I'll be fine." Any more of his "episode", however, would cause him serious medical problems later. He only hoped that he could control himself. He was inclined to be a sadomasochist; it was just in his blood like that.

Daisuke nodded, smiling cutely like he always did. "That's good." He glanced around the room and noticed Satoshi's little pile of goodies. "You've been missed by many," he added softly. "School isn't the same, you know?"

Satoshi arched a brow. He was never an active member in class activities unless he was voted on unanimously by the class, or he absolutely _had_ to do it. He turned and looked at the crowded stand beside him. "I suppose," he replied dully, not really concerned with many of the senders. "I don't even know who they're from."

"I'm sure you can recall at least someone that you know."

Satoshi gazed at Daisuke, who was still focused on the letters and gifts. "But no one special," he added meaningfully.

The redhead quickly glanced at him before shifting his attention to the window, his expression almost guilty.

"Why did you come here, Niwa? I don't understand."

From his spot, Satoshi could see that the small teen was thoughtful, or perhaps talking to Dark. In either case he grew anxious with each second that passed. Why, he wasn't sure.

"I wanted to apologize," Daisuke said at last, turning and looking straight into azure eyes. "Dark… had no right to say those things."

Might as well get everything out into the open. "Of course he did," Satoshi replied, unfazed and honest. "It's true. Do you even know what he meant by that?"

Daisuke shook his head slowly. "He won't tell me. I had the feeling… that he wanted to talk to you first. Do you know what it's about?"

For the first time Satoshi found himself glancing away first, averting his gaze to his blanketed lap and wiry hands. "I have an idea," he replied softly.

_000_

Satoshi found Krad and himself back in the snowscape again. It was the same eternal day of winter, the same blue shadows, the same white flakes of snow, the same gray clouds above. The Commander stood this time, getting better height to look out into the horizon where the sky met snow. He almost saw a tinge of gold, as if there was a sun somewhere, hidden.

Cool arms slipped around Satoshi's waist and the soft touch of wings fluttered over his arms. Satoshi shivered slightly. They were colder than their surroundings.

"Like a ray of hope, hm?" Krad seemed to whisper mockingly into his ear. "No, not for us."

Satoshi grew bitter at Krad's negative perspective. "What are you talking about?"

The blonde chuckled before releasing Satoshi. "Nothing. Nevermind."

Satoshi was sure that it wasn't there before. Did whatever Krad say have any meaning, or was he talking nonsense again? He wanted to know what exactly this place was, what that golden lining was, and why he'd been finding himself there every time he fell asleep.

To be continued...

Uwaa! Another long chapter. Man, I was kinda stuck, but then everything flowed smoothly afterwards. I hope it wasn't too confusing. Everything will be revealed soon. this won't be a long story.

I know! I'm such a sadist. hahaha. I apologize for the last chapter, since everyone hated to see Krad and Satoshi suffer. But look! They're better now! Well... sorta.

Thank you very much for your reviews and support. I really appreciate them.

SapphirexKat


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